I'm back. (:

Wow, It's been forever sense I've been on here.
Soo... there are 11 days til Christmas Eve. I'm soooo excited!(: Christmas is the best time of the year... Sadly, I still don't have a boyfriend to celebrate it with:/
I hope I find one soon!
How is everyone's relationships going?
Well anyways, I guess I've been pretty busy lately, with school, friends and family. It's a struggle to keep up on this thing, but I'm trying.
You know who i'm liking these days? Connor Aste. Again... I wish he would just like me back! :/ oh well.
Boys can be boys...

The sky's the limit.

Take risks.
Don't be afraid to fall.
Try your hardest.
Be. STRONG.
Never Give up.
Be young forever.
Sing the loudest.
Dance in the rain.
Laugh the craziest.
don't let anyone judge you.
Go for your dreams.
Just keep smiling and..
BE YOURSELF.

The sky is the limit. Jason Derulo(:

Be strong, Always.

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven't posted lately, it's been a hectic month. Joyful part of it? My birthday is coming up! yessss. My inner toddler will come out that day(: Well anyways lets get into the details of this month...
Can you guys believe it? I like Connor, AGAIN. Yet, I don't know why. I guess it's because he actually cares about, always has. I just never tended to care about him.. when I know I should have. he is a sweetheart, and finally someone who doesn't judge my brother, he actually cares about him. I do know that I just can't like someone, but I can't help it. He's just soooo cute! I always get those butterflies when I talk to him(:
Second of all... I am soooo worried about my brother. Me and my mom have been talking lately and a few months ago, she told me he is dying... goodly slowly and not fast. I CAN NOT loose him, he is my hero, I love him to death. I wish Doctors could help him... but they can't. I love him so DAMN much, My life does not exist without him in it.
" Life's hard people, but being strong, keep your heads held high, Always."

Summer's almost over.

Yeah that's right, summer is almost gone, :/
and I STILL Don't have a boyfriend..
Oh well. I probably wouldn't be able to have one i like more then 1 guy.
Sooooo anyways 8th grade is a breeze, it's been so far easy and I get to see all my friends, I just can't wait til My birthday in a month, soooo siked.
Well I hope everyone's having a awesome summer!
-//kenna.(:

Tears and Cheers.

This summer has been filled with so much...drama.
Yesterday I went to raging waters, Austin was there, with his friend, and Jill. That was the first time i saw him sense February. I cried myself to sleep last night. Seeing him look at me, about broke my heart. I guess I'm not over him...
Then there's Zac. Well what can I say? I really like him. (: He is sooo sweet! He is the only guy i know who PLANTS flowers, but also gives them to girls he likes. Plus, he cares. He actually cares. He is smart, very strong, Tall ( good thing!) and he is very funny. except... he doesn't like me. He is not over his ex yet, what should i do??
/kennaa

Summertime.

Well... it's exactly 1 month till school starts... whoop? no. Well this summer has been pretty boring.. except the part about hanging out with my friends, going swimming, seeing movies, and oh the best part sleeping in(: I'm not sooo excited for school to start. Most of my friends were 9th graders.. they aren't there anymore..
I'm gonna miss them like crazy :( Oh well.. I will see them every once and a while.
This year went by waaaaaaaay to fast I think. What happened to 7th grade! I remember the first day of Junior High I was terrified. But in the end I learned it's easy. Sadly, I'm getting older one step at a time.
Then there's the summer brake up, I had with Jacob. I guess you could say we were a thing. Everyone who knew about us loved us together..even his X. Tell he broke up with me. I still really love him. I just can't. Well good news is... I like Zac also too :)

Love.

"Everybody see's it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you haven't said it too
So where
Do we go from here
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now
We've been so far down
We can still touch the sky"
This song is so amazing. Everytime i hear it it touches my heart.
I don't hate Chris Brown for what he did. I mean I don't like him, but you can tell he really regrets what he did. What he did was not right at all I get that, but he also has one amazing heart.
They do belong together... but he beat her, thats never right.

change is always constant.

soooooo this week has been pretty horrible..
well I went to park city with one of my best friends. we went shopping and swimming and all that stuff, then a day after we were there. Jacob broke up with me. I was NOT ready for it at all... he said he was going of to highschool and he would never see me plus he also said his mom made a new rule saying he can no longer steady date with a girl. We are still friends but I still REALLY like him...
"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to forget someone you've never met"
I do love Jacob... even if he doesnt anymore.

serious smiling times :)

I have been smiling and laughing. ALOT.
I probably look like a Hyena alot. My mom will ask me " Kenna are you ok??" and my response is.. " hahaha you ask me that like you think its a yes!"
Jacob, has made me very happy lately. Which is what I need right now. What else can I say I really do Love him. He's a different kind of guy, he's a little shorter then me ( not very much!) he honestly looks like Taylor Launter( Jacob Black in Twilight!!) which is funny! He's even buff like him!, He has a huge, adorable smile, BEAUTIFUL blue eyes! and he is sooo sweet. He will beat up any guy who would hurt me if I said to ( which I would not, beating up someone does not make it ok!) and he is soooo funny and amazing!
Like my friend Kate says " He's my sexy man candy!" ha!
"Happiness is the key to life"

The feelings of being used.

You never know what it feels like to be used, until you are.
You may think what I am about to tell you is about someone pretending to be my friend to get something out of it like a C.D or a movie or something, but it's not.
A couple months ago after me and my ex broke up, I became friends with his best Friend, of course this new guy made me feel special. He told me anything that I wanted to hear, like that I'm beautiful, smart, energetic, funny and amazing. Which of course made me like him. We talked EVERYDAY, he told me my ex was a ass for dumping me and that he's a jerk, which made me like him even more. I told him about EVERYTHING in my life. We talked about my parents divorce, my brother, my family and friends and me. I told him everything he wanted to know about me and what he asked. Then about a couple weeks after that we grew really close. The only bad part was I have NEVER met him, I was very stupid at the time so we just communicated over text. I sent him a picture of what I looked like, and he sent one of him. Even though I have never met this guy, I really liked his personality, I even told myself a lot that I loved him. That was when the using began.
I remember the one night he first told I was being threatened, at first I didn't believe him, but then he started to bring stories and details into the picture, and thats when I started to believe him. ( I can not tell you what I did, to it is so bad and can not be spread onto the internet) After what I did I got in HUGE trouble. I felt like my parents hated me after it. I even hated myself, a couple days after it happened I would not eat, I would cut my wrists and I would sleep ALOT. I HATED myself because what I have done. I hated myself so badly that I almost killed myself in front of my own mom. I can not live without her, she is my hero, I love her so much, for if she was not there for me I would not be here right now. The person I hated the most was the guy that used me. I HATE HIM. SO MUCH. In my opinion he deserves to die.
A couple days ago I contacted this guy again, well mostly my friend did, but i helped. I wanted to know why he used me. His answer? he was bored. I cried when I heard that was his answer. I called him an animal and he said I agree I am sick and untamed, he sure is. He didn't even say sorry, not that it would have mattered anyways. I told him I almost killed myself, he said he it was a shame it didn't actually happen. He does not have a heart, he is self centered and he is a pig.
I have learned to NEVER talk to strangers after that and never trust them either, no matter who they say they are or how " nice" they are to you. They can hurt you, and it will scar you for life.
Believe me, I am a victim.

I love you.

Im losing everything. My heart. My Soul. My head, everything in me feels like its giving up. I'm not myself sometimes. I smile, but behind it, it feels like im dying. I wanna know why I feel like this. Is it depression? PMS? or am i just have a huge mood lately? I don't know if I will ever know.
Things have been changing lately. My mom is now dating the guy she liked back when she was 15, its actually really cute! She seems much happier now, I think HE took her happiness away and controlled it but I think the new guy dug deep killed the dragon and saved the princess with her happiness, I have NEVER seen my mom so happy in my entire life. Its a GOOD thing.
I just got out of school Thursday. Whoa. The year went by sooo fast, its crazy, and to think about it I'm also getting Older, UGH! Well sense the years over that means.... the 9th graders leave. Which means my Jacob leaves. He's not actually leaving me, but we can no longer walk the school halls together laughing. I'll miss him during school, but then I can see him out of it :) I really do love him. He makes me happy and smile, plus hes like super strong! Jacob, I love you.
The person I've been missing so much? my dad. Sense I was a baby my dad has been one of my biggest hero's. I got my amazing musical talents from him and his smile. I miss my dad I haven't seen him sense March. I will get to see him soon though. Daddy, I love you and miss you.
In the end I have to say to finish this off all my readers, that's if I have any,
I love each and every one of you.

BEAR LAKE! XD

Yeeeesssss i get to go to Bear Lake tomorrow with Baytubb and Jessa!!! Thats going to be sooo much fun!! and I have 3 more days of schhool!! eehhh! well anyways on Friday I'm also going to Classic with a bunch of friends as a end of year partttyyy!
I love this week except the thought of no more school for the summer :(

Claaaassssssiiiiccc! :)

Soooo there is 11 more days of schooooool..... :(
I will miss my friends :(
Wellll anyways on Friday i went to classic skating! it was sooo much fun! I went with Kate, Jacob, Jessa, Keaton, Jayden, Reagen and Ashton. We all got shudder shades( glasses like JB's <3) in different colors... I got green :) well that was alot of fun we were then for 8 1/2 hours.. hahah[: it went by fast though... I love my crazy, funny, amazing friends and i don't know what i could do without them.

well I have major mood swings :/

Yes, I miss both my dads. :(
Very Much.
Lifes been hard right now, i seriously think my mom is depressed shes been cleaning A LOT, mostly everyday. I also don't care for much anymore, I've been through alot but im not giving up. I've got my friends to hold back on, they keep my stable and happy i love them I don't know what i would do without them.
And my mom. My lifesaver. My best friend.
I love my mom, we may fight sometimes but she understands me, i can tell her stuff, and she won't judge me. We have been through alot, I've even held her hair, and shes held mine. I love you mom, I would not be able to be who i am right now if it was not for you, you are the best mom in the whole world, and I will be there for you even when you are there for me. You may be my mom, but you are my best friend.
Then there's my two dads, My biological dad and my step dad.
My dad is my hero. I am who I am today because of him, I also get my musical talents, and my taste of music, from him. He's so goofy and weird, but hes just like me, and I love him. " I miss you dad".
Then there's my step-dad we would fight A LOT! But we could talk about stuff, not everything but stuff. He took care of me when i thought I was gonna loose my mom. He also took care of my brother, who can not take care of himself, he is my hero for being there for me and my brother, I've learned how to be a soldier from him, to be strong and brave.
I love my parents so much more then anything and I also love my weird brother :P who keeps me on my toes but hes special to me :
I also love my friends, I can honestly say I would not be happy right now if it wasn't for them. I love Kate, Jacob, Brittini, Mariah, Kaitlyn, Mikayla, Jayden and Keaton so dang much! The ARE family to me
P.S I found out someone likes me today :)

Simple lilies no roses :)

Ok well sooooo...... This week has been okishh? i guessss? Well this morning my step-dad left to Virgina... that was pretty sad :/ I hope that i will get to see him soon :( Sense that happened I went to school at 11:00 because i woke up early to say goodbye and i wanted to sleep in. Then at lunch time I was with Kate, Steph, Kyla and Helena, then Jacob came over. So we all ran around like idiots haha i love them! They made me happier :)
I was thinking about my brake up with Austin... I've decided i go for lilies not roses, i go for guys that dont demand but treat me right :)

CUTE! TWINS!

This is my beeeeessssssttttteeessssstttt Guy friend Jacob and me! We were matching this day, and we were also in musical theatre :) haha I love him!!! he makes me laugh!
Well.... today was okishhh.... my stepdad is moving to Virgina on Monday... ill miss him. :( But my friends and family make the pain go away.... for a little bit
hahaha well I love you Jacob! ( GO LOW!)

I love this weeeeekkkk! :)

This week has been FANTASTIC!
Well on Monday i had my district meet for us girls and my relay team got 1st place we did amazing! Then at the end our girls team ended up getting 3rd place out of 15 schools and we got a cool plaque! I got to carry it out to the bus!
Then on Tuesday Me and Kate were able to leave school early to go to the guys track meet, it was a BLAST! :) haha well we got on the bus and we were the only girls on the bus and all the guys were staring at us, but then we all talked until we got there. As soon as we arrived we got to hangout for an hour and a half. So me, Kate, Jacob,Karson and Charlie all went walking around Cottonwood High school,the guys pretended to be gangsters that was interesting. haha. Then Stephanie showed up so Kate went to go get her so I was stuck with ALL the guys, while im standing there they are saying perverted jokes and taking off their shirts to show their abs.... the abs part was pretty hot though... :P Well then Jacob went to go run a mile for his race and at the end of it he had a asthma attack and he stopped breathing, he laid down for a while then he recovered. which was very good!. Then about 2 hours later we got on the bus to go back to the school at 6:30 and me and Jacob hanged out because Kate left... haha that was fun. Then he took of his shirt and I ended up staring at him hes got an 8 PACK! hahaha[:
SO yeaaaaahhhhh!

.....Not so great....?

Ok well today's week was a little better...
Sooo.... my track meet was canceled on Wednesday so we just had a practice after school which was fun :D I did an obstacle course in 37 seconds :) Then a hour and a half later i had youth group and we went bowling which was fun!! haha except i almost broke my finger.... hahah[:
Well anyways today was fun, during musical theater, Me Mariah and Jacob were rapping to Justin Bieber, 30h3!, Ludachris and etc. haha it was sooooo cool! Me and jacob were matching today, almost the same exact clothes! hahaha :) I love Jacob and Mariah!
The only bad thing is my step-dad is leaving in 2 weeks... as in moving away :'(.....
I also have a district track meet on Monday... and im a nervous wreck... :/

Is everything falling apart?

Just when you think everything's getting better it gets worse.
I thought my mom and almost step-dad loved each other like crazy. When really i dont think they do anymore... :'(. I HATE to see my mom crying as if her heart has been tarred out of her chest, I hate to see clay as if he lost his most important thing he cant live without he may no cry but you can see it in his eyes.
I wish i could take bag mistakes I've done especially big ones. Sometimes you wish someone could at least care a little bit not to try to ruin your life even if they hate you they could at least have a little bit of a heart not to do it.
aaaannnnndddd one of my friends is going out with my ex.... hes only gonna break break break your heart!

What a dangerous weekend!

So lets see yesterday I went to classic with Jayden, Keaton and Brittini.
As always we have alot of fun dance around like idiots and crap hahah:). Then while me and Brittini were skating around she noticed a guy she liked, so I went to talk to him, but sadly :( he didn't like her back because he already liked this other girl. I'm sorry Britt, hes not worth it! But then I liked this guy but he was 17, he looked younger, but at least he thought i was cute.... but he didn't like me which was ok! haha
then later that night I had 10 coins and on my last two coins I won a green stuffed monkey its so adorable, i got it from the grabber machine thingy :P
Later on that night i was talking to this guy i like, and he said he misses us, and that he still likes me, it made me sooooo HAPPY! :)
I also almost gave Keaton a concussion on one of the bouncy slides, and i also gave one to myself... hahah[:

Thursdays!

Today was so hectic!!!!
Yesterday afternoon my brother cut through his whole entire finger and ALMOST cut it off!! so he was at the hospital until late last night with my mom and step dad, so I had to stay at my cousins house for the night, which was fun, but i got no sleep because i just couldn't fall asleep, and i had school the next day!
Well at school wasn't bad i guess, kind of good! haha I love my friends!!!!
Happy Birthday Mariah!!!! I love you with all my heart!!!! <3

I.HATE.Mondays!

I can NEVER wake up on Monday mornings... but it gets easier once i get to school. And speaking of school i got a new sub for pre-algerbra and hes STUPID! the suckish part is that we have him for the rest of the year cause my pre-algerbra teacher is having her baby sooooo yeah UGH!!
Well i had track today that was fun.... and tiring! but i love it!
Then me and Kate had a ruberband ball war..... hahah[: its dangerous but fun!

The world is mine ;)

I MADE IT!
Sundays.... eh. Well today was interesting we had those O.W.L classes today :( I HATE THEM. Then right in the middle of it my friend Sarah randomly said i would be good for her friend Keaton, so she had me take a pic to send to him, WTF! BUT hes got green eyes! I love that! :P haha I hope I get my smoothie from Mickey D's today... :)

Well... :/

Yeah, ok can i just be 30 now! like in 13 going on 30! i hate being 13! You have to deal with EVERYTHING!! and it seems like adults start to hate you! geesh!
well anyways life's pretty just dandy! NOT.
I mean there's life's ups like track, which i love very much and my friends who I also love! But then there's the downs like school, annoying people and how they always try to make you mad(EXAMPLE! AUSTIN!) so yeah....:P haha
I've been worried about alot of my friends lately, one of my best friend is being really depressed and I HATE to see her upset, it makes me upset... i just can't find ways to make it better.... i keep trying but i don't know! I wish there was one thing i could do.... I HATE BOYS< THEY HAVE NO RESPECT FOR US GIRLS AT ALL!!! But I love you my friend!
hahah[: .... I've noticed we all have that one thing that keeps us stable.. that one thing we need to make us happy. I shall remind you that it should never be a person, because no matter how much you love them and they love you, they will hurt you. I'm not saying you shouldn't love someone, but if you do, don't fall in too deep.
One reason why i love track... I get to do it with the most funniest people i know like Kate, Ashton and Connor, I love them! and because i just LOVE to run!
P.S Conner Benson, I HATE YOU. Austin Overton, YOU BUG ME!

blah, blah, blah.

ugh! im still grounded but i get to hangout with my cousin sometimes and my best friend( they are both exceptions) :) haha well anyways i had good easter, and a brunch, yuuuummmy food!Today is the last day of spring break, NO! I really don't wantr to go back to school, anything but that! well breaks are boring but school is just plain old boring.
Ahh being grounded is so stupid, i hate it! but at least i was able to get on the computer today!
Lifes gotten better for me im not lovesick over HIM anymore... actually i dont like him at all anymore! im proud of myself, i've gotten over him! My friends on the other hand.... im worried about them, i love them so much and i hate to see them upset, when i can't do anything about it, it bothers me that they are giving up and i can't do a thing about it!
Being a teen sucks sometimes but its got its perks....sometimes. I love my friends <3

I love Wednesdays!

Today was hilarious... who knew I could laugh so hard all my food literally falls out of my mouth... yes grose but it was funny! I just love Wednesdays because i have youth group these nights... in which I spend with my closet friends that ive known for a long time! and we get to get frozen yogurt! yum!
annnnd I just found out Conner is gonna get a book published, that is just soo freaking cool! I am so happy for him! he so smart, haha I love him!
Yes..... I love love love today! I dont want it to end!!! :/

Ahh School!

TODAY! was... very great actually! I was an overachiever in mostly all my classes, which was surprising but also good because I finished my work!
Funny story this morning my friend Connor through me a piece of gum in the hall which landed on the ground, I went to grab it and my friend Kate did too, we ended up tackling each other on the ground for a piece of gum! hahah[: I got the piece of gum, but it was way hilarious trying to get it!
Then another funny story... I totally pwnd 2 of my teachers today cause they thought I was not working on my work or paying attention when really I was done with my work and I wasn't exactly paying attention but I did hear what she said :P
Today was pretty funny! except where i spilled water on my brand new book and popped a vain during roller blading in Gym.. hahah[:

An Addiction

We've all got an addiction, it may not be drugs or alcohol, but it is defiantly something. An Addiction has many meanings to us, one could be something you can never stop doing, or something you are completely obsessed with. Most of the time, these addictions tend to take over us and control our life. Addictions are to be there to make us seem perfect and normal. When really, no one is normal or perfect, we are all weird and unique in our own ways. One addiction I used to have was needing people to tell me they loved me or I wouldn't know if they did or that they even cared. I got over this addiction by helping someone else with the same addiction, it makes you realize that you don't need someone to tell you they love you, you have to love yourself first. Then there is bad addictions like drugs and alcohol, that may seem to make you feel better about yourself, when really they bring you down, if someone has an addiction to drugs or alcohol, they didn't choose to just start it, someone caused it. They say behind every depressed and troubled person, there is a person who made them that way. Thats why I always try to help those people in need, Tell them they matter and that they may think no one else cares about them, but YOU do. You can save a life, rather then help someone end theirs. Always remember there are some addictions that are good, for example reading until you feel smart enough, then there are bad addictions, those ones need looked upon and helped, one thing for sure is always care for someone and never judge a book by its cover. and ALWAYS be respectful. :)

I hate Mondays! I can never wake up on these morning days!
Well anyways.... today was pretty interesting... I had ASL first period... We watched a movie sense it was our last day in that class, the movie is pretty confusing because it was mostly in sign language! but oh well! Then I had second period with my best buddy Karson! haha apparently hes getting married? yeah its hard to explain.. and hes only 15 almost 16! its crazzzzy! Then I had lunch, yummmmmy foood! After that was third period musical theatre I freaking love that class, I have it with my 2 best friends Mariah and Kate, haha We can NEVER stop talking! then last but not least I had 4th period god! that class almost made me puck! We had to watch a video on eye accidents and surgury! it was soooo disturbing! But other then that today was sooo great! :)

Today! was fabulous!~

I went to see Alice and Wonderland with.... my best friend Britt! my cousin Katie! and my other best friend Kayla! That movie is so strange but yet soooo awesome!Turns out I saw my two other best friends who I call my brother's mom and their sister, we ended up talking out loud to each other until the movie started! After that we went to Macy's and ran around the store looking for cute guys, well not for me :P but yes! haha then we went to Dairy Queen and I got a vanilla shake :) yum! Then it was time to go home :(... but I didn't want to exactly go home yet so me and brittini went to my cousins house and took her dog on a walk.... just to go see Brittini's boyfriend, turns out he couldn't come out :( but oh well! Then we went to Katie's house again. Then a couple minutes later I asked if she had gum, because i saw it behind her, she told me doesn't have any, then I told her I see it behind her. Even though she saw it too she tried to deny it! haha I love my cousin! :P then it was time to go home finally.... But it was a great day and I got to hangout with my closest friends :)

My Poem(:

You are the one that has shaped my heart after it broke.
You are the one who keeps me happy, even when things are terrible.
You are the light at the end of my tunnel, where I can go when im scared.
You keep my mind stuck on you, and only you.
You are the one I can be myself around, not any other boy works that way for me.
You love me for the way i am, and I love you for who you are. and NOTHING can change that <3
I love you <3 You keep me stable, happy and you keep my mind racing.... for you. Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you.

Love keeps us Stable.

You Know how everyone says I love you too, if you say I love you to them? How do you know they really mean it? They could be just saying it to make you feel better. Tge only way you could possibly know if they do is if they tell you first or they show you and tell you ALOT. Love is confusing.... there is family love, which is when you tell your family you love them usually all the time, then there is friend love, which basically means you could be walking down the hall at school at Yell "I love you ____!" (the line is for a friends name or something) then the last love is relationship love with that him/ her. When you share a kind of lovr between you and another person, to you, it feels inseperable. You talk to them everyday, you can NEVER stop thinking about them, You always ask them if they are ok, You always want to know if people are treating them nicely.... and you just plain old care and love them emensly! One things for sure, never go take it way fast in a relationship, you may end up hurt in the process.
Love is infinite never give it all away to one person!

Roses... :)

At school we have these Val-o-grams, where people can buy candy/ card or a rose/ card for the ones they love?
Cheesy or cute?!
Ive gotta say its kind of cheesy, if you love someone you should do something no else has thought of for that person. Yeah roses or candy would be cute but you've got to be unique. Someone's love for one person can last a life time :)

Can we be in Love at this age?

A question we always ask..... is it possible to be in love at our ages? yes I think it is, everyone falls in love at any age, you may not know you have but the moment you loose that person or you see them after a long time, your heart tells you, you are. That feeling is something I can never explain, its a leap in your heart you get and you feel like you get butterflies. Being in love doesnt mean you will be with that person forever, it could mean that for older people, but for us it means you have found someone you love so much and they are perfect in every way to you/
Im in love <3

My spaztastic family.. :P

We all have people in our life that are like family to us.... I have people like that.
The top most important person in my life right now is my boyfriend, he is the sweetest, most cutest and funniest guy Ive ever met, I love him so much, he is the light of my life and no words can explain how much he means to me.
My best friends that I could not live without are:
Brittini, my sister, she knows everything about me and she helps me through thick and thin, I love her!
Kate: My sister also, hilarious chic who is willing to stand up to anyone who makes me sad or pissed. I love her!
Jayden and Keaton: my brothers, the dorkiest boys i have ever known, they are a little of the strange side but they are fun to be around and I love them!
Even though these people aren't really family in my heart they will always be considered part of my family <3